Gordon Tinklesbury is Back

Hi. I’ve been married for 15 years. My wife wants to tie me up. Don’t know if I’m ready for this. Should I be concerned? How do I prepare myself? Whatever next?!

Thanks Matt.

Hey again Tinkles it’s that time of the week again. Now we have a great question today about taking things to the next level in the bedroom, and I’m not talking about investing in a heated blanket if you know what I mean. No, today we’re talking bondage.

From personal experience, I chose to leave my model trains in the playroom and snuggle under the covers. How many hints did she have to drop before I took off the conductor hat and gave her the reins to ride the rodeo.

Now I get it, it might seem scary at first, a step out of your comfort zone always is. So…ease yourself into it slowly. Maybe tie yourself up a few times, see how it feels. That’s what I did.

Obviously, the best way to tackle these things is with open conversation. Talk to her if you’re uncomfortable and work it out between the two of you. There’s nothing wrong with feeling anxious about new situations and definitely don’t do anything without healthy conversation first.

But if you’re into it, before you know it you’ll be in knots on the bedroom floor loving every second.

One final thing, don’t forget to establish a safe word… I learnt the hard way.

Thanks,

Gordon Tinks x

I’m stuck in my flat and my plants are dying because I’m sad. What should i do?

Anon, 25

Sadness, it can be a deep hole to get out of. We all have our times in life and when we’re in them and the light can seem very far away. Now, plants I know very little about and I can only apologise for that. But I have got a little secret to keep the frowns at bay. A fool proof method that puts a smile on the face of many around the land. Find some alone time, some time just for yourself to find some peace. Meditate. Sing. Read a good book. Or talk to someone. Break that routine, get away from the stress and just be you with you. Get yourself a room with a lock and leave the troubles on the otherwise of the door. You’re in your space now. You’ll thank me later.

I go for anime but hey, that’s me, doing me.

Gordy M.

Hi! I recently had to move home from uni because of covid. I then spoke to one of my mates that is still there and she told me that someone I used to be friends with is sleeping in my bed, wearing my clothes, using my stuff and giving me an extortionate electricity bill! Please help!

Ellie, 22.

Hey guys, me again. Back to take your lives from shit to hit! Now I don’t have much experience with university because as we know I got my degree in being a bad ass bitch on the streets, they don’t just hand out those in classrooms.

But I will try my best to help! It sounds like we’ve got an intruder here. Heck, take it as a compliment girl it sounds like she wants to be you. To solve this one you got to take a leaf out the humble house cats book and mark your territory. Let those bodily fluids loose. Get your smell around the place. Piss on some jumpers, spit on some plug sockets. That’ll keep them away!

Gordon xoxo