Gordon Tinklesbury

Pretty sure there’s a sesame seed stuck in my nose after eating my daily breakfast bagel. I can breathe fine but can feel it. Is this cause for concern?

As long as you can breathe you’re fine. You don’t wanna know the sorts of things I’ve had up my nose and I’m still hustling like the bad bitch I am. All I can suggest is maybe switching up the daily breakfast. All I have for breakfast is a serving of hot lust every morning, but not all of us are as lucky in their love life as I. Eggs also work pretty well if you're a single pringle. Otherwise go see your gp, they’re better on the medical advice - or 111 don’t forget that useful tool. Thanks NHS.

There’s this really attractive person in my Zoom lecture. I don’t know how to ask her out. Her face only comes up when she speaks. How do I grab her attention?

Anon, 21.

Ah, the modern love chamber that is zoom. Now this is all about opportunity, and taking  your chance when you can! Whatever you do you gotta be quick and you got to make  a move that cannot be ignored. Below I’ll list a few simple ideas to get the brain juices  flowing: 

- Flash some flowers 

- Flash some roses 

- Flash a handmade portrait of them 

- Flash a handmade portrait of their mother

- Flash a nut 

- Shout a fact only their family would know about them 

Hope these help, get creative with it. I know you got it in you.

Why has my partner gone off sex?

Well I don’t know. Could be her, could be you? Talk about it. Open conversation is always the best way to go here.

Got the Thor trilogy on? She is daydreaming on that sofa man, just like you are. No ones to blame, Hemsworth is a handsome man. Maybe mix it up though, bring some different things into play. Whipped cream, handcuffs, a hamster. Get creative man, let your combined imaginations loose.