#7
Why not make the Wrong Decision?
By Sid Watson.
Illustrations by @bradley.being.an.illustrator
Without turning this column into a journal about my life, I will begin yet another article with a personal anecdote, but with any luck it will turn into a real article by the end, so please indulge my ramblings. Anyway, many of you may be able to relate to this, but I am the kind of person who thinks that everyone is watching and judging my every decision, that there is somehow a “right” way to live my life, and everyone else but me is qualified to show me that way. I trust almost anyone’s opinion but my own when I’m making a decision, I think of how an action will affect everyone else’s life but mine, I hold myself back from doing the things I want because I’m worried some Big Brother-esque eye is constantly watching and judging my every action. In the words of John Mulaney, “I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much.”
Maybe that doesn’t sound too bad to you, at least I avoid making the wrong decision if I have thought about it that much and written pros and cons lists and spoken about it with everyone and their dog! Well, to be honest, I would rather make the “wrong” decision (if there even is such a thing) and at least be doing what I want to do. Because, anyone who is like me probably knows that in all that rationalising and checking and re-checking we completely forget to ask, what do I want? What will make me happy? How does this decision make me feel? And these are important questions to ask - because, in the end, after you’ve made the decision, and the dust settles, you are the one who has to live with that choice, no one else.
Now, perhaps you think, I wouldn’t know what the answers to those questions are even if I asked them! All I can tell you is that you definitely do; you just need to get out of the white noise of your head, and listen to your heart (it never lies). And if you’re still stumped, then take some time to figure it out! It’s not a waste of time, it’s so useful! In my opinion, it might even be one of the most important things to figure out in life. Because, as someone who chronically made decisions based on other people for the majority of her young life, not listening to your heart and letting other people steer your life can lead to a lot of “what if?” questions and even some regret, and that is the least fun thing you can experience (and I’ve heard my parents having sex on multiple occasions).
So just do what makes you happy! (within legal limits, I will add, just for the sake of liability). Life is millions of years too short to care what everyone else will think if you wear a unicorn onesie in public, or start taking an improv theatre class, or quit your job to become a writer, or ignore a conventional career altogether to travel the world or do whatever else you could possibly dream of. People aren’t going to judge you, or be annoyed at you, or have any other negative reaction your overthinking mind could dream up, in fact, they’ll probably be inspired by you, and maybe they’ll even join you. In any case, the only thing stopping you is you, so why not?
